I expect what I expect when I expect it!
What happens when you expect something and it does not happen? You become disappointed, frustrated and sometimes you are just ticked off. Other times it is no big deal. It depends on the expectation you had, who you had the expectation of and the situation. If your heart is involved, the expectations can be more convoluted. Human beings make expectations of everything and everybody everyday YIKES… that is a lot of expecting. Most of the time we do this without even knowing we are doing it. We are hard wired. Most of our everyday expectations are valid and normal. Expectations are spoken and unspoken. Sometimes they are agreed upon but most time they are assumed. And we all know what happens when you assume. (You make an ass out of you and me, Ass-u-me) Hey, I learned that that in 9th grade English.
If you go into a restaurant you are expecting to have good service. If your service is less then stellar, you tip accordingly. Those expectations are unspoken but are written in some unseen rulebook. We get in real trouble when the expectations have more our heart involved or are worth real time and money.
Recently, I had a high expectation in a professional setting. I had some big money involved. OK, not big, big money. But my time, attention and enough money that it showed I was serious about my part of the transaction. I was all in, I was hook, line and sinker. When my expectations where crashing and burning I could feel a physical reaction. I was angry, sad and embarrassed. How could I let this happen? I was smarter then this. Did anyone else notice? I was doing mental loop d’loops. I realized that my expectations where high because of two reasons. One, the information was not advertised correctly. I expected something bigger because of all the flash and sparkle. And secondly, I let my emotions overlook some red flags. Why, because I had built up expectations in my mind. I was paying the price, literally, of having unrealistic expectations.
In a professional setting we can let things like this go much easier. You learn from your mistake and usually you can deal with it by taking some type of action. You can return a product, ask for your money back or not give a business anymore of your business. But what if this was a personal issue where your heart is involved? It’s not like you just return your Mom, Sister or Spouse. Well, maybe you can try to return your spouse. But lets assume you keep them. What do you do if your family member does not live up to your expectation in the relationship? You cannot go on Yelp and leave a bad review. What you can do is have a serious talk about expectations. Yours, theirs and whoever else involved. Find out if they can live up to your expectation and if you can live up to theirs. It just might be the time to get realistic. Adjust and be flexible. Get out of your head and understand most of the time others have no idea you expected so much.
What about those amazing individuals who exceed your expectations? Heck, not everyone or every business will let you down. Think about the coach, teacher, parent, friend or family member that has done more then their required title. Celebrate them. And don’t forget to say thank you!
Celebrate your Day… I expect it to be amazing!
Blessings,
Rev. Misty
